tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78449392657801127682012-01-22T21:10:41.540-06:00A psychologist's observations about mental health, psychotherapy, and self-help.Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.comBlogger391100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-33800564881407405632012-01-01T12:00:00.000-06:002012-01-22T21:04:11.225-06:00

A habit is any action that is performed so often that it becomes almost an involuntary or automatic response. Some people use the words "habit" and "addiction" interchangeably; however, there are important differences between them. A habit is something a person is inclined or accustomed to doing routinely, almost without thinking, There is often no forethought or planning in it and they may even

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-29717519371309009142011-12-01T17:10:00.003-06:002011-12-08T21:23:46.780-06:00

Getting into college is not always the biggest challenge for students with learning differences. It’s the adjustment to college level work and a more independent lifestyle that can be the greatest hurdle. Picking the Right College The first step in successful transition to higher education is picking the right college. Every college and university is different and some are more accessible than

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-51086307779224280232011-10-01T08:00:00.016-05:002011-10-01T09:50:37.924-05:00

Photo by Sean Ochester Most of us understand that being repeatedly selfish, cruel and neglectful in relationships is a sure way to destroy them.  But, did you know you can also kill a relationship with kindness?  If you have been told you are “too nice”, you may be inadvertently skewing the balance of equity required for healthy adult relationships.  Successful long-term friendships and

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-34511736582312304202011-09-01T08:00:00.000-05:002011-09-25T08:08:20.773-05:00

Motivation is our drive to meet basic and higher needs and pursue desires. It energizes us and directs our behavior. We need to be able to meet our more basic needs before we can expect to meet higher needs. Basic and higher needs: Belonging - love, acceptance Survival – hunger, thirst, safety, shelter Esteem – achievement, competence, approval, recognition Self Actualization – personal growth,

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-5602470424603233472011-06-01T08:00:00.000-05:002011-10-01T09:55:14.563-05:00

Have you ever had somebody listen to you intently and objectively with the sole purpose of understanding you and assisting you in reaching your potential? For most of us, this is a luxury and very rare. Our loved ones are not very objective and they frequently have their own agendas for us. They give us well-intended, but biased advice. Our friends have busy lives and don't always have the time

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-75984608575072515652011-05-18T08:00:00.019-05:002011-05-18T08:25:29.480-05:00

When a person has been experiencing longstanding discomfort - perhaps months or years of unhappiness, anxiety, loneliness, anger - they certainly know they want to feel better, but they may be unsure of what to do about it. Breaking out of these uncomfortable feeling patterns often requires a change - and change is hard! Successful change involves a process. What follows are simplified

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-79057056629871385392011-04-01T08:00:00.004-05:002011-04-20T19:42:03.841-05:00

Photo by Sean Ochester What troubles do you run into managing your time? Most of us don't ever seem to have enough of it. For others, having too much time on their hands is a dangerous thing. Everyone's perceptions and beliefs about time are different. Some people strongly value time, work hard to be timely, and expect others to do the same. Others see time as flexible and renewable. They

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-46398312808689491582011-03-01T09:01:00.017-06:002011-03-17T17:56:34.542-05:00

Photo by Sean Ochester, ©2010 Like a bridge spanning an otherwise challenging obstacle, a referral is meant to take its recipient safely and efficiently from point A to point B.  An excellent healthcare referral can be a powerful intervention, but many such referrals are made in haste without much forethought. It can be especially difficult for mental healthcare consumers to obtain a good

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-422924627353165632011-02-02T08:00:00.002-06:002011-02-17T17:11:55.486-06:00

Most of us have been hurt or betrayed at some point in our lives.  Its a terrible feeling that can have lasting repercussions, if we let it.  When our experiences of hurt and betrayal linger, they can seep into our future relationships and impact our functioning with our families, friendships and colleagues.  These negative feelings can also impact our physical and emotional wellbeing. However,

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-81515527151971254102011-01-01T08:00:00.050-06:002011-01-09T10:53:27.272-06:00

Many of us have had the misfortune of experiencing a medical emergency; either our own or that of someone we care about.  But did you know people can also experience mental health emergencies?  While mental health emergencies can be just as urgent and distressing as medical emergencies, people are often quite confused as to how to recognize and respond to them appropriately. A mental health

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-31789497742561383692010-12-01T10:00:00.009-06:002010-12-29T07:12:16.984-06:00

Remember the book "The Secret"? Take a look at the movie trailer, the website, the Vinny Verelli sketch, and the Saturday Night Live spoof and you can get a "Cliff's Notes"-like understanding of it's basic tenets. Most of us have a healthy skepticism of statements that are universal and absolute. Anything that promises to deliver "the most powerful law in the universe" seems suspect. When ideas

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-55970895084027813962010-10-01T08:00:00.036-05:002010-10-02T10:49:30.716-05:00

Why do some of us keep finding ourselves in destructive relationships over and over again?  The reasons are many and vary from person to person.  Do any of these reasons ring true for you? Learned dysfunction Most people learn how to be in relationships from the people they grew up with and if you had destructive role models, there is a chance you might find yourself in a similar situation as

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-31343972898936679202010-09-01T06:00:00.013-05:002010-09-07T17:48:51.036-05:00

Have you found yourself at the end of your rope in your relationship?  Perhaps you are feeling very dissatisfied, but your partner doesn't seem willing to make a change.  Or maybe, things have changed for periods of time, but they inevitably drift back to the way they were.  If this rings true, feelings of resentment may have been building in you over time, resulting in anger or apathy toward

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-30174287272160363132010-08-01T09:00:00.001-05:002010-08-05T08:39:43.898-05:00

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a pervasive pattern since childhood of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that creates significant distress and/or impairment in two or more domains (such as at school, home, work, or in social interactions) and often persists into adulthood. An important aspect of managing ADHD or any other disorder is understanding the condition

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-91840955510900585252010-07-01T10:00:00.134-05:002010-07-16T12:51:31.140-05:00

Emotions are important to optimal life functioning, but many men in our society tend to be at a disadvantage when it comes to recognizing, understanding and managing them.  Fortunately, it is possible increase one's understanding of emotions and learn to manage them more effectively. What are emotions? Emotions are a response to stimuli involving: · Body reactions or physiology · thoughts or

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-57509110265972707042010-06-01T08:00:00.002-05:002010-07-16T12:52:59.277-05:00

Guilt is an emotion that involves self-blame or a sense of responsibility for a regretted thought or action. Like any other emotion, guilt is not necessarily based on facts. True guilt is what we feel when the facts of the situation justify the level of responsibility and regret we experience. Perceived guilt is what we feel when we take responsibility for something we really had no control over

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-53118137859177053892010-05-01T07:00:00.006-05:002010-05-05T19:35:41.516-05:00

Why do some people lie over and over again, sometimes even about seemingly inconsequential things?  A good assessment may be needed first to rule out substance abuse or other compulsive behaviors as well as conditions that impact reality testing that may be causing or contributing to the lying.  When it truly turns out that someone is simply just doing a lot of lying, it may be most helpful to

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-66257914549054274342010-04-01T08:00:00.001-05:002010-04-01T11:45:58.657-05:00

When you are working toward a positive change in your life, setbacks such as loss, failure and rejection can make you feel discouraged, frustrated, anxious and sad. Too much of this can lead to self-doubt, depression, and getting completely off track. It is important to understand that setbacks and disappointments are unavoidable and and perhaps even a necessary part of life. If you look at

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-57823590823215884152010-03-01T08:00:00.000-06:002010-02-27T09:30:19.254-06:00

Stress is nothing more than your response to a perceived threat. I emphasize the word "perceived" because stress is caused by our interpretation of events rather than the event itself. We know this because what is stressful to one person may not be stressful at all to another person. Stress can arise from something good (eustress) or something bad (distress) and sometimes the cause of our stress

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-89895512703164790492010-02-01T08:00:00.000-06:002010-02-01T09:07:26.724-06:00

Goal setting is like making a road map for reaching your potential – you may know where you want to go, but do you know how to get there? When you're going somewhere new, it's easy to get lost along the way. Many of us find ourselves being pulled along wherever life takes us. There is nothing wrong with that if you like where life is taking you. But if life is pulling you in so many different

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-52116025010862853012010-01-01T09:52:00.000-06:002010-01-01T12:11:02.261-06:00

Although major depression is a medical condition that is largely out of a person’s control, the following is a tongue-in-cheek list of some things you can do if you want to increase the odds that you will become depressed or stay depressed:Think negativelyThe way you think will influence how you feel and behave. Tell yourself how bad everything is and how much better off others are. Predict

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-32941706865406180042009-12-01T08:00:00.000-06:002009-12-01T08:17:28.086-06:00

Is it possible to be nice to a fault? When asked directly, most people will say niceness is a strength; however, if being "too nice" has ever been someone's reason for rejecting you, niceness can feel more like a curse than a blessing.Are you really “too nice” or are you striking up relationships with the wrong people? For a nice person, the "wrong people" tend to be those who are selfish,

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-33819584917977491642009-11-01T19:00:00.000-06:002009-11-05T08:00:54.750-06:00

Self-regulation, or the ability to identify and respond appropriately to internal needs, is being increasingly recognized as an important skill. It appears Americans may be getting worse at it. Researchers speculate we are over-regulating our children's lives and not letting them engage in the free, imaginative play that is essential to developing this essential life skill.When a person with

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-87854843421154898742009-10-02T08:23:00.000-05:002009-10-02T08:30:19.382-05:00

Researchers have found that one of the key elements of happiness is altruism or kindness to others. It turns out that most human beings get a boost from helping others and doing good things for the world. I have often suggested volunteering as a therapeutic tool for improving mental health; especially with conditions like depression, anxiety, and youth behavior problems.Idle youngsters can fill

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-66050478646545420342009-09-07T09:00:00.006-05:002009-09-07T09:43:02.257-05:00

Movies that represent major life themes and lessons can inspire us to think more deeply about important issues. They can act as a springboard for discussion and further exploration with friends and family. Here are a few of my favorite movies that depict major life themes. Forrest Gump This movie provides a juxtaposition of competing themes. Life is a crapshoot, but we also have a destiny.

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-80076373147887267132009-08-01T08:00:00.007-05:002009-08-19T07:32:04.840-05:00

As an American health care provider, I have a vested interested in the health care reform debate as it will impact the future state of health care in the US. I am especially concerned about my clients understanding and having a voice in the issues.Unfortunately, it can be very confusing to try to get a grasp on the various permutations and iterations of the proposals and track their progress.

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-14903340971312650862009-07-01T06:00:00.006-05:002009-07-01T14:32:52.588-05:00

Positive parenting is a way to set expectations, instill values and live together as a family in relative peace while maintaining a resilient and satisfying relationship with your child.An essential part of a positive parenting is developing a strong foundation of trust, love and respect. It will be difficult to interact with your child effectively without a strong foundation. If you fear you

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-15289567007165442192009-06-01T09:00:00.006-05:002009-06-21T21:31:49.776-05:00

Anger gets a bad rap, but it is a normal and adaptive human emotion. It occurs when we: feel out of controlbelieve our rights have been violatedthink we are not getting our wants or needs metSince anger is a feeling it is neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. However, some of our behavioral responses to anger, such as aggressive or impulsive actions, passivity, and passive–aggressive behavior

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-4071688685839391232009-05-01T08:38:00.000-05:002009-05-17T14:34:56.389-05:00

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-18635188808368730832009-04-04T09:59:00.024-05:002009-04-04T11:56:25.110-05:00

How do we know when we should trust someone? When our expectations haven't been met or we have been disappointed by someone we trusted, it can be difficult to trust again.Trust is AdaptiveHuman beings are born with the ability to trust because it increases our likelihood of survival. When we are in need, it is often to our advantage to believe that others can assist us and allow them to do so.

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-73640841012501919922009-03-03T12:11:00.009-06:002009-03-04T13:48:14.461-06:00

Psychologists have been taking a growing interest in measuring happiness over the last decade. In retrospect, this seems to be a no brainer, but it is a fairly new approach for professionals who were historically more accustomed to focusing on life's problems in order to help people thrive.Happiness is a subjective emotion involving sensations like pleasure and satisfaction, contentment, serenity

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-55508655744788694062009-02-02T09:06:00.024-06:002009-02-10T19:17:43.818-06:00

Looking for the perfect gift for someone special? Why not consider a gift that is precious and rare, appropriate for and appreciated by most people of any gender or age, shows you really care, and is absolutely FREE? Active listening is that sort of gift. Active listening is the type of listening in which the other person feels they have been truly heard and understood. It takes effort, its

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-55805557735265989902009-01-25T14:15:00.016-06:002009-01-31T11:44:51.831-06:00

You are very hungry, but you can't get the lid off of the jar. You are running late and your keys are nowhere to be found. Your jaw tightens and you look up at the ceiling as that familiar and exasperating feeling comes over you - you are experiencing frustration.Frustration occurs when we are trying to accomplish something, but our efforts are thwarted or our resources are insufficient for

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-2789069417719413912008-09-10T11:22:00.000-05:002008-12-28T13:56:51.126-06:00

Love is one of life's greatest rewards. But, like many good things, there is both a sweet side and a sour side to it. Serious or chronic illness, infidelity, intimacy concerns, changing roles and circumstances, anger, finances, parenting, communication problems all can contribute to distress in marriages or other partnerships.We start out at a disadvantage because many of us aren't very clear

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-80281221905432358402008-08-08T10:28:00.000-05:002008-12-28T13:56:10.782-06:00

Grieving is a normal human response to losing someone or something important. Experiencing a loss can involve strong emotions, troublesome physical symptoms, and may require a period of adjustment. The way we experience grief can be influenced by a number of factors including the nature of the loss and the meaning we make of it, one's culture, upbringing, life experience, and spiritual beliefs.

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-78527636470327394622008-07-20T13:00:00.005-05:002009-01-31T11:54:03.554-06:00

Our society values and encourages selflessness. We think about self-sacrifice and putting others before ourselves as virtuous qualities. To be selfless means, "having no regard to self". Although we may choose to act selflessly at times (which can be a wonderful thing), we cannot completely disregard ourselves. Remember the Zen-Buddhist saying, "Wherever you go, there you are".I watched a TV

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-43110107604510282932008-05-08T21:00:00.006-05:002008-07-20T14:17:30.479-05:00

You’re sitting in your classroom before a major test. Your senses are heightened. The lights seem too bright. You hear your classmates chattering nervously about how hard this is going to be. In your head you try to quickly review what you studied, but your mind is too flooded with worries and self-doubts to think clearly. You are now entering the Test Anxiety Zone.Most students experience a

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-5883336166283762392008-04-06T19:00:00.002-05:002009-11-03T09:31:50.586-06:00

As a psychologist who evaluates children with learning difficulties, I often encounter parents who are worried about their child's reading. Sometimes this is due to the presence of a reading disorder, also known as dyslexia.I find that many parents have the mistaken belief that dyslexia means reversing letters and numbers when reading and writing. The truth is that letter and number reversals are

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844939265780112768.post-74139182025545720792008-01-09T09:40:00.001-06:002008-07-20T14:14:49.802-05:00

What do you do when you know a child is bright, but their teachers don't seem to realize it? Maybe the marks they bring home don't reflect their true capabilities. Or perhaps they seem to be falling further and further behind their classmates. One possibility is that the child may have a learning disability.Children with learning disabilities are born with differences in the way they input,

Dr. Tracy Ochesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12064373338279522903noreply@blogger.com3